Damn Those Skinny Bitches

Don't go judging my post by it's title.  Mo'Nique actually coined the "skinny bitch" phrase.  As for my own personal experience, I have only met a handful of women that are slim, attractive, AND nice.  Evidently Mo feels the same way.

Since it is the '13, I've been evaluating my life and things I want to change.  Commercials are evil.  They seem to have a magic way to point out my inadequacies.  Ok maybe they just make me feel inadequate because of the casting.  Damn casting managers.

Lately I've been watching television as part of my inspiration process, and I've discovered something.  There are four skinny bitches that I really idolize.  These for ladies make me want to up my physical game and I don't even know them, have never met them, and would probably come to tears if I did.

Skinny Bitch One: Lilly Ghalichi
She's like a size 00 Kim Kardashian.  She seems super sweet to add insult to injury.  She's from Texas, so she knows how to rock the big hair and everything else about her is pretty much perfect.  If I were to be reincarnated Persian...I'd want to be her.

Skinny Bitch Two: Beyoncé
Yes I said Beyoncé.  Originally, I was not a B fan but she has grown on me.  It seems like motherhood has really upped her likeability factor with me and I am now a fan.  She may not consider herself skinny, but by my definition she most certainly is in the single digits in dress sizes...that's skinny.  She's a working mom, mogul, and she even cries pretty (youtube search that video).  It's so not fair for regular women.  At least her contribution is creating anthems for us regular women.

Skinny Bitch Three: Gretchen Rossi
Pamela Anderson has nothing on Gretchen.  Point blank and the period (Tamar Braxton).  Gretchen puts the bubbly in bubbly blonde, and is making a good name for herself business wise.  Beauty and brains is always a good combination.  Plus everything on her is au naturale (no fake boobs, no injections besides botox).  She may not be Barbie, but she's pretty darn close to me.

Finally, Skinny Bitch Four:  All those damn Victoria's Secret models
I'm so glad the holidays are over.  Or so I thought.  If I saw that "tell me you love me ... tell me there's no other woman in the world like me" commercial for give your boo VS for Christmas one more damn time I thought I would hang myself with my cellular phone cord.  If you're not laughing, something is wrong with you...cellular phones don't have cords.  Nonetheless, now they are doing their Spring campaign...so they're all oiled up and showing off their perfect abs and tight buns in bikinis.  Makes me not want to eat anything but air for the rest of my natural life.

These women don't set out to make us feel like crap...they just have a natural way of doing it incidentally. 

Oh who am I kidding.  They do want us to feel like crap.  That is the very nature of a woman: make that other bitch jealous.

Ladies, this is a rant.  Nothing more. 

Because I believe you can't complain if you're not trying to do something about your situation...I went ahead and joined Weight Watchers online.  Maybe it was Jennifer.  Maybe it was Jessica.  Maybe it was my SB4 that pushed me over the edge, but dangit I'm claiming MY sexy back in the '13! 

Now to go find a treadmill that will fit under my bed.
/rant